Embracing Accusation

Good morning. It is 1:56pm as I write this.

I woke up at 1:40pm. Isn't that ridiculous?
I got nearly 12 hours of sleep. Disgusting.

My sleep cycle is so off. I am becoming more and more nocturnal :(
I need to stop so I don't wake up at noon on the first day of school.

Anyway.

Yesterday was another good day.

Nothing interested happened until later in the day/night so I will skip my morning.

At around 3pm I began to talk to my friend Jacob Kang about possibly hanging out. I was really hoping he'd have a bunch of school/church friends that he could just call up and we could all just hang out and I'd get to meet some new people (which I like). But two hours later, we still had no plans and ended up going to Boba Loca by ourselves. Kind of sad and loserish but it turned out really good. I will get to that soon.

So Jacob works at Boba Loca so he bought me a drink! So nice of him. I was all thinking I'd get a nice discount but I ended up paying nothing. I was really confused because noone asked me for money but I was like waiting with my $5 to pay and then Jacob was like "I paid." So nice of him.

And then we headed out in my car to my church. I had to get there by 6pm for praise team practice so it worked out nicely. The car ride was fantastic. Jacob had just gotten back from retreat and he had a lot of good stories to tell me about not only his ministry, but his own personal experiences there. It was really uplifting and encouraging to hear what Jacob had experienced. God had really used him to speak to people and pray for their specific needs. God told him exactly who to pray for, what to say to them, what to pray for in their lives, and even showed Jacob a vision for one particular friend. I thought that was pretty amazing and it just reminded me how real and alive our God is. Crazy stuff.

But after Jacob told me that I jokingly went, "ARG!!! God never does that with me! He always shows me things so subtly! I only realized what God was trying to say to me and show me a week, two weeks, or even months later."

Jacob laughed. He told me that even that was good in its own way. When God speaks to you so directly, it's easy to start expecting that and what not. I still personally would really like to feel the excitement of having God use me in that way. I hate you Jacob :)

But yeah, after that we talked about some of the things going on in his personal life which I will not share here but it was all very uplifting, encouraging, and reminded me of how God is really active, despite how much we set limits in our own mind on what we think God can do and when He will do them. God is alive. Just like me. Multiplied times infinity of course :D

But yeah, afterwards, I shared with him the song Jon and I were working on and he was happy to hear it. We then went and jammed for a bit and then Jon swung by. We jammed for a bit too. Then they had to leave so I walked them out to the parking lot. I love those guys.

Church was awesome as usual. The worship set consisted of "Unchanging", "Holy is the Lord", "Refiner's Fire", and "Heart of Worship". I really try every time to send a message out with the songs I pick. The message I wanted to send out this time was based on Romans 12:1, which goes like this:

Romans 12:1
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

The song "Heart of Worship" really was the centerpiece of the worship. I really wanted to stress the worship is not about songs, music, singing, clapping, lifting of hands, closing of eyes, etc. The lyrics of the song really matched quite well.

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the ways things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus

Worship is giving your life to God. As the verse says, we are to give our (pure and righteous) lives as an offering to God.

It was really awesome and the more I think about it the more I know God really was behind last night's service. How do I know this? Well, I actually did not set aside real time to pick out the songs until I got to church. I usually pick out the songs at least a few days before and email them to the band for them to read over, learn, and prepare for. I did not do that this time. But I knew for sure that I wanted to do the song "Heart of Worship".

Little did I know, Pastor Dave's message (which was a continuation of the New Year's Eve message) was largely centered on this message also. He even quoted the very same Romans 12:1 as he stressed how we need to make our lives into worship. Diane looked back at me because I had shared this verse during our praise team's prayer meeting right before service. We made eye contact and smiled.

The message was focused on the story of the Israelites in Joshua 24. They had been serving other idols along with God, which essentially made God unholy (holy, meaning, "set apart"). Pastor Dave talked about how our lives our like the modern day Joshua 24. Instead of serving other gods and idols, we make idols of other things in our lives (relationships, school, parents, etc). How true is that?

He talked about how "worship" can be more literally interpreted as "worth ship". What is your time and value? If you spend the majority of your time on the computer, watching tv, etc., then you are worshipping those things. This does not go to say that you can not glorify God with just about everything you do. Saying a prayer of thanks before eating a hot dog glorifies God. Using the computer to encourage other Christians glorifies God. Honoring your mother and father with the intention of fufilling God's commandment glorifies God. Doing everything in your life for God is worship. Not 10-15 minutes of Chris Tomlin/Hillsong music.

When I got home, I began to brainstorm for the verse of the song Jon and I are working on. I consulted Jacob for help with this. He did not really contribute words I should say, but offered a great listening ear and helped guide my thought process which was actually very helpful. So I drafted a rough verse. I am still working on it. I will bring an update on it soon.

Also, I will admit that my daily Bible reading has always been a bit sketchy and inconsistent. I am going to really try and change that in 2009. I talked about this with fellow praise team member Diane, and I proposed the idea of reading all of 1 John by Sunday. I heard on Christian radio that this book is all about assurance of salvation. It spells out the characteristics of the saved as well as some other stuff so it's a good way to gain assurance. I am pretty sure that I am saved but I think asking God about it through prayer and reading of His word would be the best way to know. I read about half of it last night before sleeping so I will finish it today and spend a good amount of time meditating on it :D

Hmmmm. What else is there to talk about....

Oh, I know just what to end this entry with. Two things. The first is a song. The second is about prayer topics.

Jon also showed me this one song called "Embracing Accusation"


This song is amazing!

Oh the devils singing over me
An age old song
That I am cursed and gone astray
Singing the first verse so conveniently over me
Hes forgotten the refrain
Jesus saves!

I would encourage that anyone reading this right now watch that video (it's kinda creepy so maybe just listen to the words carefully) and really reflect upon it. The song is so powerful in that it shows you how we deserve damnation and hell, but that Jesus saves (present tense). Amazing song. Such an interesting approach from a musical/artistic standpoint.

I will close with some prayer requests.
1) The China Missions Team- My pastor and 3 of my teachers are in Shanghai envangelizing to lost souls. Pray for their safety, their compassion for lost souls, and that God would give them energy, strength, and wisdom.
2) My Friend - She has just recently "re-accepted" Christ into her life and is really trying to change her life but obviously, it isn't easy. Some people aren't taking too kindly to the idea of her placing God as her number one priority. Please pray for her trust in God, the people around her, and that this time of refining would not discourage her.
3) My Church Friend and His Grandpa- My friend Jonathan's grandpa recently sustained an injury to the head and since the incident, has not been quite as healthy and functional. Please pray that God would send healing, that Jonathan's family would place their trust and faith in Jesus through all of this, and that they would have patience through this trial.
4) The Song- Please pray that God would continue to speak to Jon and I and that He would continue to inspire us to write a song that really speaks loudly to those struggling in their faith.
5) Me- God has been tugging at my heart and telling me that I still haven't let go of everything for Him. I'm not quite sure what all of this means but I think there a few sinful things that I continue to hold on to? I am not exactly sure what this means but there is something that continues to be an obstruction in my obedience to and faith in Him. Pray for clarity, honesty, and change.

Thanks.

Ummmmmm....I think that's all.
Man I wrote a lot. Comments and feedback appreciated! :D

Yeap.