The Answer

I am really weary. Pretty exhausted.

I mean this in a few different ways.

First of all, I am physically pretty tired from the lack of sleep I have been going through in recent days and weeks. I should really fix my sleeping habits. My body is taking a toll. Usually I get a chance to recuperate on my weekends but given my past two Fri-Sun's have been spent in hotel rooms getting 5 hours of sleep at best, it has been getting to me. I am so glad to be home and to have no more of these trips in the near future.

Second, I am world-weary. I have missed church four times now due to these trips. I have not been able to participate in any fellowship, worship, or be preached to since January 4th, which was 15 days ago. I won't be able to go to a service until this Friday either, the 23rd. All the while, I have been bombarded with worldly influence and pressures and that's taken a toll on me as well. I forgot how hard it is to be a good witness and to live and speak righteously when the world pounds you with spiritual warfare left and right. The fight has been tough but I have endured. I can't imagine what it would be like if I missed church for an even more prolonged amount of time. Helps me to realize how much I/we need constant love and communication with Christ.

Third, I realized this weekend how ridiculous humanity is. I went to an MUN (model united nations) conference and basically, we as students mock and model the actual United Nations. We discuss pressing world issues and try to find practical solutions to them. We are usually assigned a specific country that we represent. This time was different though. This time, I was assigned to be the Vice-Prime Minister of Israel, and the 6 other students in my committee were other members of the Israeli Cabinet. So I worked with the Minister of Defense, Minister of Interior, etc. It was a very different and pretty interesting committee and we dealt with the current crisis in Gaza. As we debated and discussed many different solutions to the current problem in Gaza between Jews and Muslims, I realized how ridiculous all of our superfluous discussions were.

Basically our solution to the problem came down to a few choices.
1) Kill all of the bad guys (Hamas forces) and kill thousands of innocent Palestinians in the process.
2) Completely pull out all the Israeli troops from the region. But this would only postpone a future war.

In either case, people would die. Disgusting crimes such as the killing of two mothers in front of their children would continue to happen.

Hopeless.
Helpless.

The road to (real) peace was not visible and bloodshed would be the result of any and every decision made by our Cabinet. Ridiculous no?

Though we were only "pretending", the understanding that this is pretty much exactly what is happening in the Middle East right now sickens me. Jews and Muslims both claiming that they are right, threats flying back and forth, innocent people getting killed in the process.

I took a moment to rephrase this:

Everyone claiming that they are right, hard words flying back and forth, people getting hurt in the process. Everyone claiming that they are right, hard words flying back and forth, people getting hurt in the process.

I thought long and hard about the situation described above. and realized that my life is not very different. I could apply that to almost every conflict or fight I experienced/was involved with in my own life. Whether the conflict involves tanks, weapons, and millions of soldiers, or just words, actions, and everyday "friends", its all the same isn't it? One on a larger scale, the other on a smaller scale. Humans, we're all the same.

It's all the same. Moral depravity.

Nothing has changed for thousands and thousands of years. Humanity is in the same place it was before.

Sure, you may argue, "But we've advanced so much! We've been to the moon! We've made so many scientific discoveries! We've advanced technology so much! Cars! Computers! Cell phones!"

I argue, "What has all of the done for humanity? Do we not use those same 'advancements' to kill, hurt, and harm each other? Cars kill people, pollute the environment, and accelerate an economy that really only stratifies society. And computers? Computers may provide a lot of great things, but really, have computers changed anything significant? The military uses computers to kill other humans, kids are exposed to mind-corrupting videos at an early age, and the more productivity we have, the busier and more distracted we become. And cell phones. Sure we use them with friends, but are they not used in the same way to gossip? To insult people? We use all of these so- called advancements to kill people. To better only ourselves. None of humanities essential questions have been answered by these accomplishments. Technology has not answered the question of where we come from. What our life's purpose is. How we are to live our lives. Nothing has changed on the inside. The face of the world may have changed, but deep inside the hearts of people today, their evil intentions are identical to the evil intentions of Nazis many decades ago, or Crusaders hundreds of years ago, or the Pharisees thousands of years ago. Nothing has changed"

It's all the same. We are just as hopeless as ever; at least when we seek our answers from the world. Moral depravity. Moral depravity. Moral depravity.

This world has no moral standard apart from religion. As the world parts from religion at a rapid rate, so has society gotten more and more decrepit. One hundred years ago, Katy Perry would have been put in jail or beaten for singing her "famous" song, "I Kissed a Girl".

It's sad.

It's clear humans cannot make peace. It's clear wars will always be waged. People will always be corrupt and kill.

Question:
So what solution do we have? What is the light in the darkness of this world? What can make us pure again? Who can we look to for answers? For hope? For peace? And love? And joy?

Answer:
Jesus Christ

I've tried more of me, and I've come up dry
Trading You for things things that go away

My happiness is found in less of me and more of You
My happiness is found in less of me and more of You

I have found the answer is to love You and be loved by you alone